The thought of getting a divorce probably elicits quite a visceral response - fear, anger, sadness, anxiety - to name a few. Whether you are the spouse who initiates the divorce process or if your spouse has informed you that they want a divorce, the process is terribly stressful and emotionally taxing on you, your spouse and your children.
You want to find a divorce lawyer who will be able - and willing - to empathize with your emotional state, who will listen, and who will take the time to explain. The divorce process can take many months - the more acrimonious divorces will take
years.
You certainly want an experienced and well regarded divorce lawyer who will capably represent you and who is a strong and ethical advocate. It is important to investigate the divorce lawyer before you schedule an appointment. Many lawyers have websites these days and there are also online resources through which you can check a lawyer's legal standing and experience.
However, you cannot forget that lawyers are people too and just like you, they have personalities, preferences, characters and life experiences that shape them as people. It is crucial to find a divorce lawyer who you believe you can work with. The divorce process is time consuming, expensive and emotionally taxing. You want to find a divorce lawyer who you are comfortable talking to and with whom you can trust. If during an initial meeting you find the conversation pressured and uncomfortable, perhaps this is not someone you can work with.
Remember, selecting a divorce lawyer is a business relationship - you are retaining an attorney to perform a service - and you want to choose a divorce lawyer who is experienced, knowledgeable and savvy. But you also want to select someone with whom you can relate.
Selecting a divorce lawyer is not easy. Many divorce lawyers offer a free consultation, (as I do) some do not. As a divorce lawyer, I believe this is a way to sit together, begin to build a rapport, and generally understand the individual's circumstances. For you, this is an opportunity to learn about the divorce lawyer, to interview them, to assess their values and their character.
Make a list of questions - beyond the lawyer's experience, their fees, the nature of their legal practice - that will elicit responses about who the divorce lawyer is, what values they hold dear, and what belief systems they have. You cannot forget that divorce lawyers see life through their own lenses, just as you do.
There are many experienced and talented divorce lawyers out there.
You have to ask yourself if you can work with this person.