A Child's Perspective on Divorce

The divorce process is one of the most stressful and emotionally painful events that one can experience. Divorce is also extremely stressful for the children whose parents are going through the separation and/or divorce process.

I read an interesing exerpt from a book, If Divorce is a Game, These are the Rules. I've shared a link:

A Letter From a Child of Divorce

Children need both parents in their lives. Most of the time, after a divorce, one parent will spend more time with the child than the other. During the divorce process, it is common for one of the parents to become less involved or to have less time with their child because of the familial conflict. Both parents need to communicate with the child and continue to stay involved and remain an integral part of their child's life.

Both parents need to take time and see the child as much as possible. Parents - for your child's sake - do not use them as pawns in the divorce litigation process. Both parents believe that they have their child's best interests at heart. (Hopefully they do.) However, it is very difficult to manage the hurt and anger for the other parent and not allow these emotions to seep into their relationship with the child.

Do not fight around the child. These can be brutal and protracted conflcits. You are not divorcing your child. Try to rise above the conflct when you are both around the child. The stress can be palpable. Children sense it.

Do not disparage eachother to the child. Never put the child in the middle of your conflicts and your divorce. The child loves both of you and wants to continue their relationship with both of you.

Children deserve both of their parents. Allow them to have both of you.

Before becoming a divorce and family attorney, Adam Peretz was a child and family therapist and social worker.